I am so grateful for the chance to devote time to Halia this month and to curate my "Halia collection." I know it's only Day 4 today, but already I am realizing two things:
1. I miss blogging about my day-to-day life, the here and now.
2. In my intro post, I defined the Halia collection as works from 2010-11, and in doing so I unwittingly made this project about looking back, about past perceptions. However, the very act of writing this blog has changed those perceptions, has brought my memories and experiences into the present, and has made me long to create anew. In fact, the blog itself is an addition to the collection.
In other words, this Halia collection is not static. It will continue to grow, and it need not be separate from my day-to-day life. I still plan on using the collection from 2010-11 as the major springboard for my posts, but I will sprinkle in some new stuff as well.
My toddler and I were out at the park this morning, and I made a spontaneous little tribute to Halia. This morning happened to be a quiet morning at our neighborhood playground -- for most of the time we were the only ones there -- but usually going to the park means leaving myself open to the possibility of encountering an almost 3 year old girl. Sometimes I am eager to know what they are like, to let myself imagine Halia, and other times it just hurts too much. Whatever the circumstances, I think of her often but only rarely give voice to those thoughts. What a welcome release today to go ahead and spell her name in the sand, to have fun handling all the little sticks and stones and bits of acorns, and to find a beautiful red leaf to be the punctuation mark.
Day 4 of 31 ~ 30 Tishrei 5774