I put the word PREPARE front and center in my mind's eye yesterday evening and returned to it frequently throughout the night and during a morning walk.
Part of me hears it as a stern command. Be diligent. Make lists and plans. Get everything in order.
And certainly there is plenty to do. Some of it fun and exciting like preparing this blog and beginning to lay out a structure for the sabbatical. Much of it is mundane: groceries, dentist appointments, dishes, laundry. The lists seem to stretch from here to eternity, and I am learning to make my peace with the idea that no matter how organized or prepared I am, I will never get it all done.
Meanwhile, another part of me hears "Prepare" in the context of Elul, which puts it in a different light: Preparing to enter a holy space and time. Preparing to let go of all the doing, however briefly, and find places of just being. Preparing to notice the spaces in between and listen to the stillness.
And then I know that I am already prepared. I am here in this moment and the next and the next. Nowhere to get to, nothing to do, heneini.
#BlogElul for 1 Elul 5773