Oooh, heavy, was my first thought when I saw that today's word is "Judge." And then blank for a long while.
I am afraid of judging, judgment, all things judge. I know that I have a strongly developed ability to judge, and I am constantly trying to keep that trait at bay, or at least in its proper place. It is not my favorite thing about myself. I am critical of others, and I am especially critical of myself. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Yes, it is the same trait that allows me to be a good editor and proofreader, to pay close attention to detail, to sort and organize, to make fine distinctions. And, yes, I do appreciate those things about myself.
But, mainly, I cringe and struggle with judgment. I shy away from anything that has too much judgment in it, including many aspects of the High Holidays. I judge others for judging too much. And I judge myself for not being comfortable with judgment. It's not pretty.
And so, today, I pray that this season might bring some ease, some peace in my relationship to judgment. May I go easy on myself and on others and may love and compassion help to transform judgment into discernment and wisdom.
#BlogElul for 20 Elul 5773