Spotting

 Spotting, 11.26.10

It started small and routine. In fact, it started at the very beginning. I almost always spot before I get my period, and it was no different in February 2010. I figured I wasn't pregnant because I spotted right on schedule, but my period didn't arrive and after about a week, I went ahead and took a pregnancy test.  

I was pregnant but I continued to spot periodically. I shrugged it off. I had spotted early in my first pregnancy too. This was normal for me. I dutifully reported all this to my midwife and she too was wholly unconcerned. 

Then around Week 16, the spotting got a little heavier and I just wasn't feeling right. My mother asked me how I was, and I remember responding, "I am alright, but I wish I was better." I just felt off. So we went in to see the midwife. And once again, she wasn't in the least bit worried. My cervix was easily irritated, that's all. She told me about all sorts of pregnancies with light bleeding throughout and encouraged me to buy dark underwear! She also sent us for a quick ultrasound, and we were delighted to have the extra opportunity to see the Eagle. The technician assured us that all was well, the placenta looked good, the baby was growing well, everything was in order. We went home happy, and yet underneath a nagging feeling of unease remained.

A worrisome deep red had entered the pallete of this pregnancy, mixing dangerously with the blues, greens, and lavenders. 

Day 17 of 31, 14 Cheshvan 5774