I drew this simple portrait exactly one week after Halia's stillbirth.
At first, I thought it was a portrait of stillness.
And then, I began to see her calm, gentle presence in it too. I can look at this portrait and remember her motion, her gentle kicks, the way she sloshed around during her ultrasounds and her thumping within. Over time, this portrait comes to life for me.
She is hard to see in this portrait and that is fitting too. She wasn't seen so much as felt and sensed.
Later, I drew her in red a lot, mainly because I was remembering the blood, but there a week after her birth, I drew her in blue. And the blue suits her. Cool tones like blues and lavenders and pale greens. Those are Halia's colors to me.
Day 1 of 31 ~ 27 Tishrei 5774